The question that frustrates me

“Embrace what makes you unique, even if it makes others uncomfortable” Janelle Monae- Black Girls Rock 2012

This post isn’t going to be about all I think about natural hair and the politics surrounding it (that’s for later!), but rather just one aspect of having it that frustrates the hell out of me…

It was a couple of years ago, around my 16th birthday. I went natural by doing the big cut. I cut it alllllll off (well nearly all..) Before this mega-big decision, my fellow black church people always complimented me on my long (relaxed) hair.


180096_195008213856382_1131416_n-001So, when I chopped it all off, they were like “WHAT ARE YOU DOOOOOING?!?” It seemed the people around me mourned my lost hair more than I did!

As I went on, I experimented with my hair- I did twists, I did twist outs, I did bantu knots and of course I had the teeny weeny afro.

Despite all this, the constant question I got, normally asked by my aunties and uncles at church, would be “what are you doing with your hair?”

“what are you doing to your hair?”

“what are you doing with your hair?”

“what are you planning to do?”




 551484_10151452407509825_1608610942_n 970055_542485989130298_1827270870_n-001

However, because it wasn’t relaxed, or under a weave, or plaited into extensions, it wasn’t ‘done’.

These constant questions angered me beyond belief, but obviously, at the time all I did was smile politely and say ‘erm… [insert non-political non-confrontational filler here]’

Is it really so revolutionary for my hair to remain free to be as it grows?


2 thoughts on “The question that frustrates me

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